Monday, September 12, 2016

Checking in for Monday, September 12, 2016

Today has been challenging, but I have done some good things for myself, and made some good decisions.  First of all, I had a terrible time sleeping last night.  I went to bed at 11, and was awake by 1.  I was supposed to get up at 5 to drive my spouse to work so I could take the car for the day.  I knew that I hadn't had enough sleep to be safe on the road.  I let my spouse take the car, and I used Uber to get where I needed to go.  
I had my appointment with my psychiatrist.  I feel extremely fortunate to have this particular person as part of my team.  She and I went over the past couple days, and things that I am doing right to take care of myself.  Some of these are making and keeping appointments, letting her know I was having symptoms even though I would see her today anyway, and reaching out to my support team.  She is increasing the doses on a couple of my medications, and I will see her again sooner than I normally would, were I not having a depressive episode.  I continue to struggle with eating enough.  I finally got some sleep from about 5 am until around noon.  I always eat breakfast, but today I just couldn't.  I didn't feel like eating lunch, but I made myself eat a sandwich anyway.  I am also very sleepy.  All I want to do is go to bed.  My goal is to stay up until 9:00 tonight.  I really need to try to get my sleep on a somewhat normal schedule. 
None of this is coming easily.  I am fighting hard not to go get in bed and stay there until this passes.  I know from experience, however, that doing so makes me feel worse.  
One thing that is helping me immensely is blogging.  I feel responsible to you, my readers.  It's so important to me that I am honest about what is going on with me.  I look forward to feeling better and getting back to topics we've been discussing.  I also have some topics planned that, before this, had me really excited.  I want that back.  I want the challenge of getting an article written.  I want the sense of accomplishment for publishing something I know is well-researched and accurate.  I want the drive and the passion I feel to help others.  It's all in here, it's just taking a breather.  Depression, you have met your match.  Your eviction notice everyone else, however,

Be well

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