Today has been challenging, but I have done some good things for myself, and made some good decisions. First of all, I had a terrible time sleeping last night. I went to bed at 11, and was awake by 1. I was supposed to get up at 5 to drive my spouse to work so I could take the car for the day. I knew that I hadn't had enough sleep to be safe on the road. I let my spouse take the car, and I used Uber to get where I needed to go.
I had my appointment with my psychiatrist. I feel extremely fortunate to have this particular person as part of my team. She and I went over the past couple days, and things that I am doing right to take care of myself. Some of these are making and keeping appointments, letting her know I was having symptoms even though I would see her today anyway, and reaching out to my support team. She is increasing the doses on a couple of my medications, and I will see her again sooner than I normally would, were I not having a depressive episode. I continue to struggle with eating enough. I finally got some sleep from about 5 am until around noon. I always eat breakfast, but today I just couldn't. I didn't feel like eating lunch, but I made myself eat a sandwich anyway. I am also very sleepy. All I want to do is go to bed. My goal is to stay up until 9:00 tonight. I really need to try to get my sleep on a somewhat normal schedule.
None of this is coming easily. I am fighting hard not to go get in bed and stay there until this passes. I know from experience, however, that doing so makes me feel worse.
One thing that is helping me immensely is blogging. I feel responsible to you, my readers. It's so important to me that I am honest about what is going on with me. I look forward to feeling better and getting back to topics we've been discussing. I also have some topics planned that, before this, had me really excited. I want that back. I want the challenge of getting an article written. I want the sense of accomplishment for publishing something I know is well-researched and accurate. I want the drive and the passion I feel to help others. It's all in here, it's just taking a breather. Depression, you have met your match. Your eviction notice looms...to everyone else, however,
Be well
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