Today I want to tell you about something that happened my first week in a new department when I was still working at a state hospital. I was no longer working on the units because of my Cerebral Palsy, but had started working in a department with no direct patient contact. At the time, I was using my walker, or even my wheelchair, as needed since I was recovering from a knee injury.
Every month at the department-wide meeting, a different staff member was supposed to bring in something to promote diversity. That’s a whole different blog entry, but back to this particular day…the staff meeting went fine, and then it was time for diversity. The responsible staff member passed around copies of a photo of a man and a little girl, both amputees with new prosthetics (if I am using the wrong terminology, please let me know so I can fix it!). The caption read, “The only disability in life is a bad attitude. -Scott Hamilton” The staff member beamed at me, and welcomed me to the team. I half smiled and thanked him, but I was extremely uncomfortable. I couldn’t put my contracted little bent finger on why though. Since then, I have come across a term that describes that moment perfectly: INSPIRATION PORN. Pornography, by the traditional definition, is media depicting erotic or lewd images to evoke sexual arousal by the consumer. For the purpose of IOI, inspiration porn is depiction of people with disabilities doing things people without disabilities don’t think they should be able to, for the person viewing it to be inspired. Often the caption will be something to the effect of, “What’s YOUR excuse?”
I find these memes and such problematic for a number of reasons. The first is that it reduces the person with the disability down to a one-dimensional figure; a caricature. This is something the media often does to people with disabilities. We are either the comic relief, the misunderstood villain, or the tragic figure. All three are shown to overcome their disability by the end of the story. The person with a disability frequently has little to no backstory unrelated to their disability. I know this has gotten better in recent years, but it still predominantly the way people with disabilities, both mental and physical will see themselves depicted.
Second, it implies that because one person can do something it’s perceived they shouldn’t be able to do, anyone can do anything. It creates unrealistic expectations. If somebody sets their mind to do something and achieves that goal, then yes, they should be celebrated. Shout it from the rooftops! Goals are extremely important, as they keep us moving forward. They can motivate us and help us focus. But goals need to be individualized. I have zero interest in running unless I am being chased by something hairy with big teeth, a spider, or some stranger telling me I inspire them. So please don’t hold up a picture of someone with leg braces on running to show me what I’m capable of doing. For certain disabilities, trying to run could seriously injure them.
Third, it teaches people to see people with disabilities as inspirational. People I don’t even know have come up to me on the street when I’m using my walker to tell me what a good job I’m doing. I want to pat them on the head and say, “you are too! Keep trying!” Telling me I’m doing a “good job” just getting through my day-to-day life is incredibly condescending. It reduces me to what they see in front of them: a disabled person using a walker. It takes nothing else into account. I default, in that person’s mind, I am the tragic figure they are so used to seeing on TV and in the movies. No backstory. I used to have a different coworker who, ever time she’d see me in the hall, would tell me I inspire her. It had no meaning to me though. I didn’t inspire her, her idea of me did. My character did.
I also have friends and family who tell me I inspire them. This feels different. They know me. They know my strengths and my challenges. I am a three dimensional being. They’ve seen me at my best and my worst. We’ve gone through things together. We encourage each other, and can laugh our butts off at one another when we fall down, before offering a hand to pull each other back up.
So instead of “you inspire me,” why not try “Hey! How’s it going?” Get to know someone. Pre judging someone for what you perceive to be a positive reason is still pre judging.
My favorite people in my life are the ones who see my disability for what it really is. It’s a part of me that affects how I live my day to day life. One of my favorites was when I told a coworker I was going to steal his coffee. His response was, “Go for it, Gimp. I can outrun you!” It may sound awful, but it made my day. We joked about coffee all the time, being the two most caffeine addicted staff on our ward. For him to just pull my disability in as just another part of who I am made me feel completely accepted.
So here’s a special shout out to those incredible people in my life who get it; the people who know all the different things that make me who I am, and love me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes; the ones who are there for all the spasms, laughter, and tears in between; the people who know who I am, and love me anyway. Here’s my little secret: they inspire me too.
Absolutely love this!
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